She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
