good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
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We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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