enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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