I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize