After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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