My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
