Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
