Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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