I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
We are two peas in an std pod
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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