it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
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