she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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