He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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