She is in my trunk
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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