I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
