bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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