at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
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The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
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In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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