It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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