There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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