But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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