Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
