You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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