I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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