I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
My brain says no but my pants say off.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
