Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex

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  (312): Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex http://tfl.nu/n8r5
  Replies (20) Good night (4327) Bad night (490)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.

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  (503): today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola. http://tfl.nu/yi5l
  Replies (18) Good night (2366) Bad night (4978)
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  (408): View more from California

  I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible

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  (408): I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible http://tfl.nu/my4k
  Replies (17) Good night (8409) Bad night (1255)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried

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  (440): Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried http://tfl.nu/9dr3
  Replies (51) Good night (15456) Bad night (3979)
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  (607): View more from New York

  She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle

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  (607): She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle http://tfl.nu/wl70
  Replies (9) Good night (3828) Bad night (1066)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet

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  (307): All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet http://tfl.nu/uky8
  Replies (6) Good night (948) Bad night (2170)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.

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  (207): Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them. http://tfl.nu/x39b
  Replies (6) Good night (3317) Bad night (1247)
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  (831): View more from California

  i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila

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  (831): i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila http://tfl.nu/efvv
  Replies (8) Good night (1605) Bad night (600)
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  (435): View more from Utah

  she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?

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  (435): she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right? http://tfl.nu/crml
  Replies (2) Good night (800) Bad night (2080)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.

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  (770): He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons. http://tfl.nu/t6wz
  Replies (9) Good night (557) Bad night (938)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"

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  (407): You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways" http://tfl.nu/gs8x
  Replies (3) Good night (671) Bad night (296)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success

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  (203): I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success http://tfl.nu/5jtv
  Replies (0) Good night (679) Bad night (346)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.

  (1-678): View more from Georgia

  I want to change all my life goals to that.

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  (678): Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans. (1-678): I want to change all my life goals to that. http://tfl.nu/4r6x
  Replies (3) Good night (575) Bad night (314)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk

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  (248): I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk http://tfl.nu/6hfb
  Replies (1) Good night (462) Bad night (265)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?

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  (314): Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover? http://tfl.nu/atlc
  Replies (1) Good night (118) Bad night (288)

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