Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.