Texts From Last Night

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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me

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  (970): Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me http://tfl.nu/ja6v
  Replies (0) Good night (1410) Bad night (741)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.

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  (859): Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day. http://tfl.nu/d01x
  Replies (16) Good night (6135) Bad night (1109)
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  (716): View more from New York

  You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...

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  (716): You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am... http://tfl.nu/rcas
  Replies (16) Good night (1333) Bad night (5412)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I wish I had a frozen water bed.

  (253): View more from Washington

  best. idea. ever.

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  (734): I wish I had a frozen water bed. (253): best. idea. ever. http://tfl.nu/r1w7
  Replies (58) Good night (5921) Bad night (2192)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.

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  (507): I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER. http://tfl.nu/g7c4
  Replies (20) Good night (5644) Bad night (1479)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage

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  (406): He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage http://tfl.nu/22pw
  Replies (8) Good night (3834) Bad night (1013)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.

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  (412): I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight. http://tfl.nu/4uel
  Replies (7) Good night (2656) Bad night (841)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend

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  (208): I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend http://tfl.nu/wdl5
  Replies (13) Good night (3422) Bad night (797)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.

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  (717): Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that. http://tfl.nu/aa8o
  Replies (4) Good night (1648) Bad night (804)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.

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  (916): I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing. http://tfl.nu/ei5o
  Replies (2) Good night (1278) Bad night (517)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.

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  (310): Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage. http://tfl.nu/meih
  Replies (12) Good night (1950) Bad night (504)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.

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  (423): I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves. http://tfl.nu/s92y
  Replies (2) Good night (759) Bad night (391)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.

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  (512): Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale. http://tfl.nu/qpyu
  Replies (1) Good night (691) Bad night (383)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.

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  (202): Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball. http://tfl.nu/qe48
  Replies (7) Good night (406) Bad night (836)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.

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  (425): So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad. http://tfl.nu/wlxb
  Replies (1) Good night (325) Bad night (576)

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