worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.