think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
