i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
