Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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