yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
