And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize