You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize