your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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