Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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