You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
you mean i was at the winter classic?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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