Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
