He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
