all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
