There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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