It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
