Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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