My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
