i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
