Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
