It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize