Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
