Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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