Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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