do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
