So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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