I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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