She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
