just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm experimenting with sincerity
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
