I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize