We're facebook friends in real life
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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