i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
This baby is an asshole
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
