My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
