my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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