Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
