We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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