You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
