i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
