im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
