dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
